From upstairs, I hear your alarm and the rustling of bed covers as you wake up and begin your day even before the sun has risen. You tiptoe downstairs as to not wake me from my sleep. I smell freshly brewed coffee and an egg frying just for me coming from the kitchen. Slowly, my bedroom door opens and you call out my name softly, “Dad?” I open my eyes and see a weary but smiling woman. You set my breakfast tray down so you can help me sit up in bed, so I can eat my breakfast and take my morning pills. You then guide me to the bathroom so I can get ready for my day. You steady my hand as I shave my face and wash up. You pick out something for me to wear and my favourite hat you know I like. Then, you hurry to get yourself ready for your day: a presentation a work, a bake sale at the kids’ school, etc. 

I want to thank you for caring for me, my daughter. What you need to know is I love you more than words can describe and touch can express even when both are difficult for me.

I know you’ve given up a room in your home, time away from your family and energy away from yourself to care for me. When your friends ask you out or what to stop by, I wish I could see you rushing around the house, excitedly getting ready like when you were a teenager. You can’t do that now, though, because you are taking care of me. But, you rarely show your disappointment. Instead, you hug me and kiss me every day. You treat me with the respect and the sweetness a father deserves.

I want to thank you for caring for me, my daughter. What you need to know is I love you more than words can describe and touch can express even when both are difficult for me.

Some days I act like I’m ungrateful for what you have done for me and say hurtful things. Let me apologize. The pangs of pain and the mental fogginess caused by my dementia distort my emotions and view. I never mean to make you cry or frustrated. In fact, let me express my gratitude, like now.

I want to thank you for caring for me, my daughter. What you need to know is I love you more than words can describe and touch can express even when both are difficult for me.

On the tough days, when you can’t hold back your resentment or sadness, you later apologize for acting out. But, I can never hold this against you and I will always forgive you even if I can’t readily show it. I want you – who comforts me when I’m confused, who sings my favourite songs to me, who tucks me in bed – by my side. You take care of the numerous, thankless tasks of a family caregiver while loving me with all of your heart.

I want to thank you for caring for me, my daughter. What you need to know is I love you more than words can describe and touch can express even when both are difficult for me. Take our memories and keep hold them close in your mind. When you miss me, the old me, relive them. Feel my love echoing through the years and find comfort. That is how I can thank you and show my love.

At ComForCare Home Care, we recognize and appreciate the dedication and commitment shown by family caregivers. We want to thank you for everything you do; you make a difference in your loved one’s life.

If you want to learn more about caring for a loved one for dementia, download our Family Guide to Dementia.